Review: Guilty Gear XX Λ Core Plus R (PC)

Any fighting game that asks you to "Solve for R" is generally a video game that is a pantless hobo doing a jig on a piece of cardboard while strumming a handmade banjo and reciting recipes from "Mastering the Art of French Cooking" (just volume 2). That is to say, entirely nuts but not without its own charm and sophistication. Guilty Gear XX Λ Core Plus R is one of those pantless hobos. (The "Λ" is stands for "Accent" in case you're looking for this one on Steam.)

Review: The Incredible Adventures of Van Helsing III (PC)

The Incredible Adventures of Van Hellsing III is the final game in a trilogy of action adventure games utilizing the isometric view of combat that the Diablo series has perfected. The respect and reverence that Hellsing III holds up Diablo is quite evident with the frequent "homages" and downright borrowings in some places. Besides some rather hot and furious combat in places, the game writers definitely did their best to keep themselves entertained by including a ton of horror/gaming/nerd jokes and Easter Eggs for those amongst us who have to click every imaginable surface or game texture. Myself, I averaged about one third of the available "surprises" in each area.

Review: Shovel Knight (Xbox One)

I bought Shovel Knight originally on PC in the Summer Steam Sale last year in the midst of a purchasing orgy of akin to Shark Week. It quickly supplanted not only the games bought at the same time, but became my sole focus. There are very few games that can keep my attention for any appreciable amount of time, as the majority will get played for a stretch until they get unceremoniously dumped into the "to be finished later" pile. Having a very "pun"-ny sense of humor and an appreciation for odd visual choices in both character and level designs makes it a stand-out when compared against the typical battle for higher fidelity in all things.

...and Thanks for All the Fish!

It's a hell of thing to look back on 15 years of the Armchair Empire (AE) but I'm ready to turn my gaze forward and leave it behind.

For the last few years it has become increasingly evident – first in little hints then in crushing blows – that I'd gone as far as could with AE. What got me excited in the early days – creating the site, making contacts (when I got press kits in the mail), playing video games sent to my house, the metric ton of action figures, that feeling of endless possibilities – is the exact thing that has worn me down.

Without trying to sound too much like a question from the Riddler, all of it takes Time and once that Time is gone there's no getting it back and I just didn't ever seem to have enough of it.

Review: Evolve (PS4)

Welcome to the planet Shear. It's a roughly Earth-sized world containing a wide variety of flora and fauna, all of it inimical to human life. It's like Australia stretched out over an entire globe. Everything is either going to kill you deliberately or circumstantially.

So what could possibly be worth coming to such a choice hellhole of the Universe? Simple. Big game hunting. And we do mean BIG game.

Doing All the Things: Skyrim Edition Pt. 4 - The F Words

As far as I'm concerned, there are two F Words in Skyrim: Falmer and Forsworn. While I may have spent a good amount of time railing against the terrible spider menace threatening Tamriel, at least the creatures add an element of tension to the game. Any time a dungeon starts showing signs of webbing gathering on the walls, a sense of dread begins to well inside me. Meanwhile, coming upon a Forsworn occupied fort, or spotting the tell tale signs of a Falmer encampment elicits a bored sigh as I prepare for a good 20-30 minutes of tedium, clearing an uninteresting area of uninteresting enemies carrying uninteresting equipment.

What got me thinking this is a quest that I did while finishing up the Dawnguard arch. Before facing off with the vampire lord Harkon for a final showdown, players need to find a legendary weapon called Auriel's Bow in order to prevent the prophecy he wants to fulfill from ever reaching fruition. This requires exploring a cave containing some ancient ruins which are guarded by a Snow Elf, one of the last in Tamriel. He goes on to explain how his people were tricked thousands of years ago, and twisted into what are now known as the Falmer. It seemed a tad out of place. Here was the game giving me a vaguely interesting back story to a race that often times feels like filler meant to add padding to a dungeon.

Doing All the Things: Skyrim Edition Pt. 3 - Of Werewolves and Vampires

Here we are, another week has passed, and I can't believe how much content I've managed to play through since last I popped by to chat about Skyrim, not just for the sheer amount of things I did, but for how I managed to find the time to do them. The laundry list of adventures I went on include going to the Soul Cairn, helping the Companions with all their troubles, joining the Thieves Guild, and I even built my own house.