PSO2 Anime: Best Unintentional Comedy of 2016?

As much as I adore Sega, there will forever be this small pit of animosity that I'll harbour toward the company for never releasing Phantasy Star Online 2 in the West. There's not even much point arguing it anymore, as it just isn't going to happen at this rate. If I want to play it, I'll need to just use the English patch and never be able to give Sega any money for it since the game doesn't accept foreign credit cards in-game.

So, imagine my surprise when I found out that an anime based on the game was in the works, and not only that but it would be getting simulcast on Crunchyroll. It really made me wonder if some part of the cosmos was mocking me, rubbing salt in my wounds knowing how much this would get on my nerves. Sega can't be bothered to bring PSO2 our way but screw it, they'll greenlight an animated series pretty much designed as a glorified advertisement for their game to be shown in the West. Up yours, Sega. Do you seriously think I'm going to watch this and open myself up to wave upon wave of heartache as this show constantly reminds me of a game that will never get an official localization?

Of course, I'm going to watch it. This is the sort of self hate that Phantasy Star fans routinely inflict on themselves. The first episode is up, so it's time to hop on board this train.

Not surprisingly, the show is quite bad. There's probably worse out there, but I don't usually go out of my way to find bad anime. PSO2 doesn't have any standout qualities to it. If anything, it feels like the show's main character, Itsuki Tachibana, is a metaphor the the show. He's touted as someone that is "just okay" at everything. He gets okay grades and helps out with lots of activities around the school in an "okay" manner. The guy isn't good or exemplary in anything, merely adequate. The anime is just like that with everything about it being "just okay." Even the soundtrack manages to be "just okay" which is flabbergasting when one considers how good the music in Phantasy Star games normally is.

Actually, there is one area in which PSO2 excels, and that's in how bad the story is. Obviously, one shouldn't go into this show expecting much. It's basically a 12-episode advertisement for an MMORPG. Nonetheless, the unabashed way in which this thing flogs the game is pretty embarrassing and I've seen porn with better mechanisms to justify advancing a plot point than some of the stuff PSO2 pulls.

In the first episode, it basically introduces the main characters, beats viewers over the head telling them how great PSO2 is, then somehow the student council decides to recruit Itsuki to fill in the role of vice president because the girl who usually occupies the that post is studying abroad for a year. Then the show informs us that his sole responsibility as vice president is to play PSO2 because apparently it's what the school is doing to test how good its Wi-Fi network is. Call me crazy, but there are probably much better ways of going about that.

With that, Itsuki installs the game on his PC and plays it for a bit where we see him get into a battle and meet a CAST player named Soro, formally introducing the game to viewers. After he'd finished, he had to write a report on his session for the student council and submit it. The president said, "Good job!" and earnestly reminded Itsuki to make sure he kept his grades up while working on this project.

Looking back, I don't think I've ever in my life cringed and laughed in such a way as I did. The whole thing was such a mix of brazen product flogging and bad writing that I'm pretty sure my brain shut down multiple times during the show as a defense mechanism to protect me from all of the stupid. The crazy thing is that we have eleven more episodes of this, and part of me is darn tempted to keep on going down this rabbit whole to see just how bad things gets. This really could be something amazing for all of the wrong reasons.