Review: Super Smash Bros. for 3DS (3DS)

If I ever built a time machine the first stop would be 1992 to pay a visit to myself, fully charged 3DS in hand. I'd leap out of dark alley and hit myself with a rolled-up copy of EGM. While my past self was dazed I'd snap open my 3DS and show my past self Super Smash Bros. (for 3DS). Besides being impressed by the tech -- especially compared to the current GameBoy, the Game Gear, or the Atari Lynx -- my 1992 brain would implode with the thought that Mario, Sonic the Hedgehog, Donkey Kong, Mega Man, Pac Man, Samus, Starfox, and that crazy new character Kirby (and a gaggle of other characters) could be in one game.

Review: Kirby: Triple Deluxe (3DS)

Ring them bells, Kirby!

If ever there was a character that stands for unbridled and dangerous consumerism, it's Kirby. The pink, cheery little puff-ball, consumes anything and everything (preferably living things). The unrepentant bastard inhales bug creatures no more threatening than a houseplant then has the temerity to absorb their power to fit to his own dark whims. So, no matter how cute, pink or cartoony the action is, the game continually reminds the player that given enough time, Kirby could consume the universe...

...and never once think about going to the bathroom.

Consumerism will undoubtedly destroy us all!